Today I’m supposed to write about a sacred place where I feel most connected to Benny. I don’t know that I can nail down one space, as there are some great places that I go where I can just feel him. It used to be his bedroom, but it’s changed and that’s ok. The shop is definitely one of those places because we spent so much time there together and he was Daddy’s little helper.
The place that I feel the most connected to Benny is the garden. Sunflowers grew that we didn’t plant, and I’m now harvesting seeds so that I can share my ‘Benny sunflowers’ with friends and family next year. Darcy and I worked so hard at planting all types of vegetables because we didn’t know what would actually grow (we’ve never had luck before). I spent July and August picking zuchinni, summer squash, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, you name it! It was unreal that the garden took off the way that it did. It turned into a magical place and became ‘Benny’s Garden.’ We put a pinwheel and solar light from the memorial last year into the garden to make it his. Tara took it one step forward with her sign (LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!)
I don’t know what I’m going to do over the winter. I hate that I cannot be out there in the dirt, feeling the earth, taking care of his garden. I found so much peace in connecting to the earth and being able to grow something that we could eat. I find myself looking forward to spring and planning an even bigger garden for next year. Hopefully Benny will sprinkle it with a little more angel dust again.