Character

So we have this new little guy in our lives and it’s chaos again. I welcome it, no I thrive on it. I think I’m one of those people that just needs to be going, going, going. But my new chaos is much different than the old, much less stressful. I have all of these posts that I’ve wanted to share and just haven’t had the time or mindset to sit down and write. It’s hard to type with a baby stuck to your boob!

I’ve had 3 weeks to love this little guy. 3 weeks of complete bliss and joy. 3 weeks of learning when he’s hungry vs. gassy. 3 amazing weeks. I feel so lucky that he’s ours, that we were chosen to be his family. Not everyone gets a rainbow, so I know how extra special he is.

We are fortunate in that so many other people recognize how special he is, how much he means to us. These are the same people that have stood by us for the last 20 months, many of them new friends from our community. These people were strangers to us before November 8th and have since gone out of their way to help us through the hardest time in our lives. It takes a special person to be able to do that, it’s amazing to me how many there are in our lives. They have listened to me talk about Benny and have never become uncomfortable. They’ve allowed me to keep his memory alive. Their children have allowed Darcy to talk about her little brother. They are our ‘Benny’s Bunch’ and we are so thankful for these people.

With the good comes the bad though. The people that have disappeared, that cannot be apart of this. The ones that couldn’t be bothered to reach out after Fletch was born. Part of it is my fault with my Pollyanna hopes that everyone would be as excited as we were. Sadly, that’s not true. It’s hard for me to let go of people in my life because I know how tenuous it is and how quickly things can change. I cannot continue to carry around this anger though and at some point I need to move forward. It’s not going to happen overnight and I’m sure some part of me will still hope that maybe someday we can reconnect, but I know how unlikely that is. I’m sad and disappointed.

It’s hard to wrap my head around when we have had this community of strangers take us in and some of our closest friends can no longer be a part of our lives. I suppose it just speaks to strength in character. For every friend that has disappeared, at least 2 new ones have shown up. We’re truly lucky to have such an amazing community of new friends!

Author: sheriroaf

Sheri Roaf is the mother of four wonderful children who turned to blogging after her 17 month old son Bennett passed away unexpectedly. Through her writing she has found a way to help herself and her family move forward in the face of tragedy. View all posts by sheriroaf