Is it a couch day???

Lisa so eloquently describes my ‘wallowing days’, though I much prefer the term ‘couch day.’ Thank you for this! In the sea of all of the good days, one of these is needed every week or so to keep me going and to allow me move forward.

Translating Grief


Today, where I live, it is pouring.  We all know how weather can effect mood, especially rainy, dark, dreary days.  Sometimes it just feels necessary to stay inside, stay in our yoga pants, and do nothing of significance.  You know, take a couch day.

When you are grieving, especially in the beginning (which, honestly, could mean any time in the first two years…), it is necessary to have these kinds of days.  The kind where you disconnect from your life and marinate in your grief.  (There is an important distinction between wallowing and marinating and I’ve talked about this here.)

Grieving is hard work. You grieve 24/7, no time off, no vacation days.  Sometimes you have to create the space you need.  There are theories that say it is necessary to balance the grief against the not grieving.  (Check this out.)  And I agree.  Most days we are so…

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Author: sheriroaf

Sheri Roaf is the mother of four wonderful children who turned to blogging after her 17 month old son Bennett passed away unexpectedly. Through her writing she has found a way to help herself and her family move forward in the face of tragedy.

2 thoughts on “Is it a couch day???”

  1. Yes! Take as many couch days as you need. As long as they aren’t a continual string! I always tell my clients that one or two of these are fine, but, if on the third day, you still haven’t showered, haven’t talked to anyone and have potato chips crushed into the front of your sweatshirt, then it’s time to call for help!


    1. It’s raining here too, so today is a good one. I think a lot of it is just being kind to yourself. I was so used to going in 20 different directions on any given day, it’s not always easy to recognize that I need to take a break. As much as you want to keep busy, you need to take time, sleep in, think about things a bit and let the grief settle. Thank you for this post!


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