This story shares such a beautifully simple way to live your life. It is all about perspective. I hope someday that I can be as positive as Mo Gawdat.
A blog that I read that is normally snarky has been sharing the grief articles en masse this week. Here’s another one that I’ve already written about, but bears reminding.
This is so perfectly written, I had to share.What Does Child loss Look Like
When I was dropping Fletch off to daycare one day with Sandy, she and her niece were talking about the songs that they sing to their little ones. I hadn’t really given much thought to what I sang to the kids until that moment. And I realized that without planning it, they each had their own little diddy that I would sing them to sleep with.
Parker always sang Yellow Submarine. To all of the kids. I don’t know why, it was just his sleep song for them. Now it’s one of those annoying ones that gets stuck in my head because I’ve heard it so often over the last 9 years.
So Fletch’s song was completely accidental. Just something that I started to sing because I heard it. It’s actually a love song, but can be completely interpreted to our situation. When I looked at the lyrics and it couldn’t be a more appropriate song for this little guy.
I was thinking the other day about how many songs I was able to relate to Benny and his life and death. It really got me thinking. Does Darcy have a song? Is there something that stands out in my mind? Was there something that I used to sing to her.
This question plagued me for days. And then the other day ‘her song’ came on the radio. We were in the kitchen making dinner and I looked at her and said, ‘This! This is your song! This is what I used to sing to you when I put you to sleep!’ How could I ever forget?? Such an appropriate song if you know my daughter too!
This is one of my favorites. We had readings from The Velveteen Rabbit at Benny’s service. I can’t read this story without choking up a bit.
In the Fall I posted about the show This is Us. I was amazed by how much they touched on grief in the first episode. While the show jumps around throughout the span of the triplets life, you see glimpses of how the family has moved forward.
I have to be honest, I was hoping for so much more. In the first few episodes they touch on the baby’s death. The family cries, the mom has a hard time bonding with the new adopted son and then life goes on. I haven’t heard about it since.
No one has mentioned the baby. There has been no mention of if the baby is buried somewhere or if it even has a name (which I assume it doesn’t because they were going to use it’s name for Randall). Birthdays go by and they talk about ‘the big 3’ but there’s never a mention of the fact that on that day they also lost a child.
The episode where Randall eats shrooms and feels like a replacement for the baby that passed makes sense. How would he not feel that way? I know it was a different time and people weren’t expected to grieve like they are given the space to today. I get that. I still expected more.
How does mom not look at those 3 kids every day and not see one missing? How does she not feel that inside? We’ve never seen that. Maybe it’s coming and I should just wait, because the show jumps around. I’m frustrated. Even in present day, no one talks about the baby. Why?