Similar to my ‘Capture your Grief’ project back in October, I’ve decided to spend 17 days focusing on Benny’s life instead of his death. When he passed he was 17 months old and his birthday is May 17th, so how fitting. Each day will chronicle a month of his life. It’s time to write this down before it becomes all muddled with my pregnancy brain.
Benny was born in the early morning hours of May 17th, 2012. I’m not sure who was more surprised, Parker or I at the fact that we had a little boy. I think I was more surprised at his wispy blond hair and how much he looked like his sister and me. He weighed in at 7lbs. 13oz. and was 21.5″ long.
Benny was a disaster in the hospital. He had a really tough time with colostrum and was spitting it up as soon as I was able to give it to him. We had to change him almost hourly. It was a little frightening, but once my milk came in he ate like a champ and had no problems putting on weight.
Darcy was the first to meet him and was only 3 1/2 at the time. I can’t even wrap my head around her being so young. She held him like a champ and was super excited once we came home. That all changed pretty quickly once she realized that she wasn’t the ‘main event’ anymore. She had some jealousy, but never took it out on Bennett, but rather me. I did prefer this, but goodness it was tough.
I remember most about those first few days was Benny’s smile. The night we came home from the hospital the little guy gave me his first smile. And this wasn’t just a partial, but a full on smile with dimples. I was shocked. Darcy made us wait 10 whole weeks and here was Bennett just giving them away! He also never cried. When he was hungry he would make what we lovingly called ‘baby noises.’