Pause

Fletch is not feeling well.

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He’s whiny (more than usual) and running a slight fever.  It’s most likely teeth, but now I panic.

He’s finally sleeping AND napping and doing it well.  It’s like he’s a new baby.  He won’t settle tonight though and is uncomfortable, which tells me he’s not feeling so hot.  That and he really didn’t eat much at dinner.

I’m scared.  This is the first time that he’s really been sick.  I’m writing this with him in my arms as I try to convince myself that he will be ok tonight.

No one likes seeing their child sick.  I don’t like where my thoughts go, how paranoid I get.  This is what happens.  There’s no trust that something awful won’t happen.

I think it’s become worse now that he’s older.  Every day we creep closer to him hitting 17 and a half months.  I cannot bubble wrap him and stick him in a helmet.  He’s going to get sick, he’s going to get hurt, it’s just so tough not to completely fall apart when it happens.

It’s time to pause and just breathe.

Author: sheriroaf

Sheri Roaf is the mother of four wonderful children who turned to blogging after her 17 month old son Bennett passed away unexpectedly. Through her writing she has found a way to help herself and her family move forward in the face of tragedy.

3 thoughts on “Pause”

  1. I always wonder who has it worse when their child is sick, the mother or the child. In your case it is most likely you. He has no idea what he is putting you through! Although the chances are likely that he just has a small virus, I can only imagine all of the things you are imagining it could be. Your best bet would be NOT to google symptoms on the ‘net! Definitely a good time for a pause:)

    Like

    1. There’s definitely no googling for this mama! I make myself crazy enough without any help, thank you. After all of that it was just teeth, just so hard to rationalize with a broken heart sometimes.

      Like

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