We were listening to some lullaby music on Pandora tonight and this song came on. I love these lyrics and this song and how meaningful they are.
Over three years ago Parker and I stood together teriffied at what had just happened. We were not prepared for what lay ahead. Nothing prepares you for child loss.
Our therapist said that we were a good match because we both had pretty tough childhoods. We were already survivors in our right. Maybe that instinct just kicked back in.
We were friends first, for a long time before we dated. We’ve always been very comfortable with one another. Maybe that made it easier. We didn’t feel like we had to be brave for each other. We could just be.
We’re alike in a lot of ways, but so different. I’m more aggressive with things that I want, I’m strict with the kids and I like feeling in control. Parker is more laid back with most things. He can change plans on a whim and time means nothing to him. There are times when I wonder how we DO work. But his strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say there were many times that I wanted to give in. I think that’s pretty normal in any marriage. I’m sure there will be many more in the future. I just look at how far we’ve come in the last 3 years. He knows my pain better than anyone else. He has fought alongside me to make this marriage work. He has loved me when I didn’t know if I could love myself.
There are no guarantees for the future, we know this only too well. I just know that I will continue to fight for us. We are far from perfect, but damn we’re good!