In the Fall I posted about the show This is Us. I was amazed by how much they touched on grief in the first episode. While the show jumps around throughout the span of the triplets life, you see glimpses of how the family has moved forward.
I have to be honest, I was hoping for so much more. In the first few episodes they touch on the baby’s death. The family cries, the mom has a hard time bonding with the new adopted son and then life goes on. I haven’t heard about it since.
No one has mentioned the baby. There has been no mention of if the baby is buried somewhere or if it even has a name (which I assume it doesn’t because they were going to use it’s name for Randall). Birthdays go by and they talk about ‘the big 3’ but there’s never a mention of the fact that on that day they also lost a child.
The episode where Randall eats shrooms and feels like a replacement for the baby that passed makes sense. How would he not feel that way? I know it was a different time and people weren’t expected to grieve like they are given the space to today. I get that. I still expected more.
How does mom not look at those 3 kids every day and not see one missing? How does she not feel that inside? We’ve never seen that. Maybe it’s coming and I should just wait, because the show jumps around. I’m frustrated. Even in present day, no one talks about the baby. Why?
I have a feeling it’s coming, because they haven’t shown much of the mom at all, especially in present day.. and like you said, no one talked about “it” back then (my mom can attest). I think she did change his name to Randall because the baby was supposed to be Kyle. But it still is a good point, even if they are trying to be realistic to the time period, why didn’t they talk about the baby back then, in real life? In the Thanksgiving episode Randall mentions how the grandmother always wants a picture of “the twins.”
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I hope so. Their take on grief is so spot on in so many ways, this just left me a little disappointed. I’ve been waiting for it. Though, this show twists and turns and jumps, so who knows?
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Having miscarried, I totally get that a child is your baby from conception and a loss is a loss and there is grief. But as a Mom (and someone who loved your child) getting to know a child and experiencing loss is a whole different level of grief. We have learn only too well that grief has no rules and expectations. Maybe it will come on the show but as we have learned life does goes on and that child is always apart of it! Benny will always live in our hearts and daily thoughts. ❤
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Very good point San.
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