Is it a couch day???

Lisa so eloquently describes my ‘wallowing days’, though I much prefer the term ‘couch day.’ Thank you for this! In the sea of all of the good days, one of these is needed every week or so to keep me going and to allow me move forward.

Translating Grief's avatarTranslating Grief

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Today, where I live, it is pouring.  We all know how weather can effect mood, especially rainy, dark, dreary days.  Sometimes it just feels necessary to stay inside, stay in our yoga pants, and do nothing of significance.  You know, take a couch day.

When you are grieving, especially in the beginning (which, honestly, could mean any time in the first two years…), it is necessary to have these kinds of days.  The kind where you disconnect from your life and marinate in your grief.  (There is an important distinction between wallowing and marinating and I’ve talked about this here.)

Grieving is hard work. You grieve 24/7, no time off, no vacation days.  Sometimes you have to create the space you need.  There are theories that say it is necessary to balance the grief against the not grieving.  (Check this out.)  And I agree.  Most days we are so…

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Advice

I’ve just read some very thorough and well thought out advice to help out family friends of the bereaved.  One of the worst things that happens is when people don’t know what to say, so they don’t say anything.  It’s equally uncomfortable for us, but we would rather talk about our children instead of pretending like they never existed.  Please, please read and take the advice to heart the next time that you encounter someone that has lost a child.

http://www.griefgratitude.com/2014/10/what-to-say-and-not-to-say-to-bereaved.html

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