Tomorrow Darcy starts 1st grade. I’m sad. I cannot believe that this is all happening so fast. How is it possible that time has actually passed? I’m watching her grow and the last time I saw Benny he was 17 months. How does that work? It doesn’t make sense to me. They should be growing up together.
I read Dr. Seuss to Darcy tonight and I found a lot of knowledge in those silly rhymes. Who knew?
‘I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.’
Oh, so well put. Every day is a hurdle, and when you think you’ve gotten through, there’s another one tomorrow, just waiting for you. There are so many important decisions that need to be made that you cannot wrap your head around. I’m terrified of making any at this point, am I in the right frame of mind? Your ‘people’ disappear and in the end it’s just you trying to ‘unslump’ yourself. I think the ‘Waiting Place’ is where I’m stuck. Waiting to make a decision, waiting to feel something, waiting for someone to tell me that this was all a nightmare. Just waiting.
I started reading this book to Darcy tonight because it’s positive and upbeat, talks about all of the great things that she will do. It also talks about the reality of life, how harsh and cruel it is, how much we can really lose. It’s amazing how different things look through my grief glasses.