Day 7 – Sacred Place

Today I’m supposed to write about a sacred place where I feel most connected to Benny.  I don’t know that I can nail down one space, as there are some great places that I go where I can just feel him.  It used to be his bedroom, but it’s changed and that’s ok.  The shop is definitely one of those places because we spent so much time there together and he was Daddy’s little helper.

The place that I feel the most connected to Benny is the garden.  Sunflowers grew that we didn’t plant, and I’m now harvesting seeds  so that I can share my ‘Benny sunflowers’ with friends and family next year.  Darcy and I worked so hard at planting all types of vegetables because we didn’t know what would actually grow (we’ve never had luck before).  I spent July and August picking zuchinni, summer squash, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, you name it!  It was unreal that the garden took off the way that it did.  It turned into a magical place and became ‘Benny’s Garden.’  We put a pinwheel and solar light from the memorial last year into the garden to make it his.  Tara took it one step forward with her sign (LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!)

I don’t know what I’m going to do over the winter.  I hate that I cannot be out there in the dirt, feeling the earth, taking care of his garden.  I found so much peace in connecting to the earth and being able to grow something that we could eat.  I find myself looking forward to spring and planning an even bigger garden for next year.  Hopefully Benny will sprinkle it with a little more angel dust again.

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Author: sheriroaf

Sheri Roaf is the mother of four wonderful children who turned to blogging after her 17 month old son Bennett passed away unexpectedly. Through her writing she has found a way to help herself and her family move forward in the face of tragedy.

6 thoughts on “Day 7 – Sacred Place”

  1. I love this. It’s such a beautiful space. I’m a gardener myself. It’s something my mom and dad taught me when I was little and I’ve been doing it ever since. I used to get kind of sad in the winter, it felt like it was all dead, no connection, nothing to look forward to. Then I started planting garlic in part of my garden. I had no idea that some stuff should be planted in the fall for the next season but with garlic you do. It’s so easy, all you need is a head of organic garlic (non-organic contains anti-sprouting agents). All you do is rip off a clove and stick it in the ground about 3″ deep, 4″ apart. You plant it any time in October and it actually starts to sprout up nice and green in late October and November. They stay green until the first snow usually and then in the spring the pop right back up, green and tall and they are ready to harvest in late June – early July. It made me feel connected again, even through those cold days because I knew that something was happening underground, even if I couldn’t physically see it (garlic generally require a hard freeze for bulbing to occur). I was digging and planting even though it was cold outside and almost dark. It was a way to connect and know that it was still alive, even in the darkest and coldest of days. I also learned this year that Brussel sprouts need a freeze to develop the sprouts too. Those don’t get harvested until November, sometimes December. I tried them for the first time, we’ll see how it goes. Just a couple of suggestions, in case you want to prolong your time in that space as much as you can. I’m in awe still about the sunflowers. What an incredible sight that must have been when they all bloomed. Beautiful idea to share the seeds. What a special thing, to come back year after year. He’s always with you.


    1. Katie, I love this idea! I’m going to grab some garlic and brussel sprouts ASAP!! Thanks for this, I’ll let you know how it goes.


  2. Awesome! Email me if you have any questions at all about it. Brussels you have to plant a little earlier I think (mid-summer, which I learned the hard way) but this is the absolute perfect time for garlic. It’s kind of a perfect set up timing wise, plant garlic now, harvest in summer and then plant your Brussels. Something tells me you’re going to have much better garlic than me next summer. :). Gardening is one of the best therapies out there, particularly in a garden as special as yours. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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