I’ve been pretty fortunate in that I really haven’t had the ‘STILL?’ Question all too much yet. This is for you my comrades that have.

Translating Grief


Tell me if you’ve heard something like these:  “Are you STILL crying for that cat?”  “You STILL go to the cemetery every week?”  “You STILL have his clothes in the closets?”  “You STILL haven’t fill in the blank?” ….

When someone uses the word STILL in relation to your grieving, they are judging you. Plain and simple.  It can feel like a betrayal, like they don’t understand how hard it is for you day in and day out.  And then we try to justify or minimize our behavior to them.   “I know she was JUST a cat, but I can’t seem to stop crying.  I know it’s silly….”.  Or “I keep meaning to get to those closets, but always find something else to do…”.  Or excuse, excuse, excuse.  I’m here to say that you don’t have to defend your behavior.  You don’t have to justify or minimize why something is…

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Author: sheriroaf

Sheri Roaf is the mother of four wonderful children who turned to blogging after her 17 month old son Bennett passed away unexpectedly. Through her writing she has found a way to help herself and her family move forward in the face of tragedy.

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