I recieved a call today from our midwife that all of our tests have come back perfect for Baby Roaf.  As of today, little less than 20 weeks, he is healthy.  For months I have been blogging in the background about the excitement and terror of going down this road again.  Making the decision to have another was not something that Parker and I took lightly.

This has been a tough road to get to this 20 weeks.  Back in September we suffered another loss, an early miscarriage.  It didn’t feel right from the beginning and I just convinced myself that I was being paranoid, that we had suffered enough.  I was devastated to find that I was right and we lost ot only a baby, but the hope and excitement that we had for the future, yet again.  It was probably the worst I’ve felt since losing Benny.  It felt so unfair.

We became pregnant again right after and went through a roller coaster as they said this one didn’t look viable either based on early numbers.  Well, they were wrong.  We soon found out it was another boy, but I couldn’t begin to describe how that feels.  A mixture of joy and terror.

It is also with a mixture of joy and terror that I share this news.  While we are excited, I am also tremendously scared of what the future holds and what this means for me emotionally.  What I have now is hope though and I’m holding onto that tightly.

I will back post the blogs that I have been writing for the last 20 weeks in time.  There’s so much Benny involved in this recent pregnancy, it’s crazy.

Author: sheriroaf

Sheri Roaf is the mother of four wonderful children who turned to blogging after her 17 month old son Bennett passed away unexpectedly. Through her writing she has found a way to help herself and her family move forward in the face of tragedy.

9 thoughts on “News”

  1. It stinks that you had a tough road ( again), and so close to Benny’s one year anniversary… But I am so happy for you, Parker, and Darcy, and everyone you know who will be graced by another beautiful Roaf baby! Your friend Tara is right… Lots of support! Even from your random supporters:)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sheri, this is such amazing news. I remember you blogged a few months back and you eluded to more loses in your family but you weren’t ready to talk about it yet. My first immediate thought was that perhaps you might have lost a pregnancy. What a kick in the face that must have felt like at the time but now that this baby is healthy AND it’s a boy- it seems like something Benny made happen for you. He knows what you need to heal. I am also pregnant right now too, 24 weeks (I found out in September as well). As I picture this new baby coming I have been remembering when my son was a baby and all of the little things I forgot about are starting to come back. I can only imagine how many things must be flooding you right now. As scary as it must feel, it will also be a time when all the sweet wonderful moments with Benny are going to be yours again. We tried for this baby but when I found out I was pregnant, I was instantly terrified. Your loss of Benny affected me so much as a mom, particularly with a boy seemingly so much like him, that I see this new little person in my belly as a complete joy but also as a risk to my heart. I replied to one of your blog posts recently talking about how scary it is to realize that babies are just as vulnerable as you and I from the moment they are born. It was because at the time, that is what was on my mind. If I feel this way, I can only imagine how magnified that feeling must be for you. You are going to have such an incredible thing with this one though, not only will you have another beautiful person to love and the feeling of a baby on your hip again- you are going to get pieces of Benny back through him. Maybe it will be in a smile, in a giggle, in a curl in hair- who knows, but in those pieces you will get to see both of your boys grow up, together. If that doesn’t bring hope, I don’t know what does. I’m elated for you, Sheri and your entire family.


    1. How uncanny that we should both be pregnant again at the same time, congratulations to you and your family. I just want to see him and hold him and know that this is real. I want Darcy to grow up with a sibling that she gets to keep, so much of this is about what is best for her too. Just holding my breath and taking it a day at a time. Thanks for the support always!


      1. Absolutely. The promise of getting to hear her laugh again the way she did with Benny is reason enough alone. This is an amazing gift for you guys to be able to give to her. I bet it will bring out a lot of memories that she holds of Benny too and it will be nice to hear those things as they happen. Btw, I thought the same thing when I read this, uncanny timing! Aiden was born April 8, 2012 so about 5 weeks older than Benny and I’m due May 20th this time around, about 5 ish weeks ahead of you (which I just realized must have been close to your original due date and so close to Benny’s bday. Crazy.) We’re having a girl this time though. I will miss having a little baby boy again, so enjoy it thoroughly for the both of us. :). Congratulations again, this spring can’t come soon enough!! :).


  3. (PS. I should have said they are vulnerable even before they are born, as you know all too well. All the tests are so nerve wracking but I’m so glad that all is healthy and well now. I had many scares with my first and he was just perfect)

    Liked by 1 person

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