CYG – Day 5

CYG – Day 5:  Empathy

So often as bereaved parents we talk about all of the things that people shouldn’t say, shouldn’t do.  We are so consumed with our own grief that I think we often forget that others just don’t know how to deal with us or that they have problems of their own.  I will be the first to admit that I have become selfish.  I have become completely self centered in my grief, where my pain is the worst pain imaginable.  Every once in awhile I will read something that reminds me that us grieving parents aren’t the only ones that got the shaft and it brings me back down to Earth.  That being said, here are the things that you COULD say and you COULD do for someone that has lost a child:

  1. Talk about their child!  Not talking about them is way worse!!
  2. Be there in whatever capacity you can.
  3. Don’t talk, listen.
  4. Instead of telling the bereaved to call you if they need you, just show up.  They will not call!
  5. Help with arrangements if you can.  No one wants to plan a funeral for a child, least of all the parents.
  6. See if you can help organize something in the child’s memory.  A scholarship, a garden, etc.

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