CYG – Day 7

CYG – Day 7:  Memory

Benny’s birth was not at all what I expected.  Darcy had come into the world so quickly (within 4 hours of my arrival at the hospital), so we just expected Benny to come sooner.  At this point, we were still unsure if we were having a boy or a girl.  Part of me didn’t want to know and the part couldn’t, but the ultrasound techs could never get a good look.

I remember waking up in the morning feeling sick and canceling my meetings for the day.  I worked from home a little bit, but a part of me knew that it was game time.  I cooked on the BBQ that night during contractions and we took our last family walk around the neighborhood as a family of 3 to keep labor going.  By 7 we had dropped off Darcy and made the treck into Newton Wellesley Hospital.  I was pretty sure that the contractions were consistent at this point and I was worried about making it there on time because it was an hour away from Worcester.

Imagine my surprise when we got there and I was only 1 cm dilated!  I was not very happy at all.  During the exam I went to a 3 and I figured game on.  I was 4 when I walked in with Darcy and it was all so quick.  I wasn’t looking forward to the pain that I knew was coming.  I chose to work with midwives during my deliveries because I believe that natural, unmedicated childbirth is what’s best for me.  My labor with Darcy had been intense back labor with little to no break in contractions.  I wasn’t looking forward to this again.

I remember the nurse and midwife both commenting that I was probably carrying an 8 pounder.  Not something that you want to hear when your first baby was only 7 lbs. 3 oz!  We walked around the hospital and hedged our guesses on weight, height and gender.  Our nurse recorded everything on the white board in our room.

After several hours (and here I was thinking this was going to be fast!), they broke my water to get things moving.  Well, once they did that, it was like I wasn’t pregnant anymore, my belly all but disappeared.  That’s when they changed their tunes and said that it was only a 7 pounder, such happy news to hear!

I spent the early morning hours in the tub relaxing and breathing through the contractions.  Parker and I spent time hanging out with our nurse and getting to know her well.  She was amazing.  Things finally kicked into high gear around 5 AM when my contractions started to come on top of each other.  This time I had a break though, so after several minutes of intense pain, I actually could breathe!  This was so different than what I remembered and I was so relieved.  This was manageable.

After about an hour of really bad contractions and three pushes later, Benny arrived.  There was so much serenity to this birth.  My midwife was so calm and soothing, the sun was just beginning to rise and there was a quiet in the air.  I knew the instant that I delivered him (because I pretty much pulled him out and held him right away) that he was a boy.  I remember holding him to my chest, stunned that he had blond hair.  Meanwhile, everyone was asking me what he was.  Parker started crying as soon as he saw that he had a son.

I don’t remember Benny really crying or screaming as his siblings had.  He was so easy to nurse, latched right on like he had been doing so his whole life.  I remember the nurse holding him and asking him if he would be the one to declare world peace.  Everything seemed so easy with him.

If every birth could be like his, I’d have 10 kids.  Clearly though, that is not how it’s happened, but that’s ok.  That’s what makes Benny so special.  He came into this world so calmly, emitting this amazing peace.  Of course once he was older, that would all change, but for a while at least he was my serene baby.

Author: sheriroaf

Sheri Roaf is the mother of four wonderful children who turned to blogging after her 17 month old son Bennett passed away unexpectedly. Through her writing she has found a way to help herself and her family move forward in the face of tragedy.

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