CYG -Day 23

CYG -Da 23:  Love Letter

Running a little behind on my posts, so bear with me.  This topic is one that I’ve been thinking about for weeks now.  It’s so hard for me to choose who to write to to express my love.  There have been so many amazing people in our lives.

I could write it to Parker, because he has been totally amazing, patient and loving throughout this whole grieving process, but he never honestly goes on my blog.  Every once in awhile I’ll send him a link or read it to him or get an opinion, but this is MY personal journey.  And honestly, most of the stuff posted here we’ve already chatted about.  One of these days I’ll get him to write something here.  Maybe pick a ropic and we can both write down our thoughts.  But I digress.

To the Two Ladies in My Life (you onow who you are),

There really aren’t words to express how much you mean to me, just like there weren’t words when Benny passed.  But I didn’t need words, just someone to be there, hold me up and tell me it’s ok to cry.

Even before the accident, you both have always supported me and my family.  Even though we are not related, you have become family, another Auntie and Grandmother to my kiddos.  You loved Benny as if he were your own and not once did either of you ever stop to think of your own grief, but rather mine.

When everything happened you leaped into action and took so much on your shoulders.  You were here for days helping us to make decisions, bringing food and just being here.  When it was all over, it didn’t stop.  You still called, you still showed up.  You were able to do what so many others couldn’t and you never put a time limit on our grief.

You have watched Darcy for us so that Parker and I would be able to spend time together as a couple, trying to figure this all out.  You listened to me try to navigate Darcy’s grief.  You listened to me complain about disability, insurance and every other obstacle that we faced outside of grief.

There was never judgement.  That’s not to say that you didn’t give me a nudge every once in awhile if I was being unfair.  You talk about my son always and celebrate him in your own ways.  You are the ones that Benny knew best and loved so much.  He was so lucky to have you in his life.

You have celebrated Fletcher with me and welcomed him into this complicated, new life.  You get how hard of a balance this has been.  You have loved him as I’ve loved him, as an Auntie or Grandmother would.

You took care of me in the absence of my mother.  You have no idea how that feels.  It’s been so long that I’ve felt that way.  It’s been so long since I would let anyone do anything for me.

Some say blood is thicker than water.  I say my friends are the family that I chose for myself, because we don’t need proof of kin to show that we’re family.  You both amaze me with your love and generosity.  We all love you so much!  I’m so lucky to call you mine!  XOXO

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