Tomorrow

Tomorrow we bury Benny.  It’s been 6 months since we said good-bye and I’m still not ready for this.  This act makes it real, forces me to face reality and really deal with the fact that the accident did happen.  It just doesn’t seem right.

It will just be Parker and I.  Darcy is too young to grasp the concept of cremation.  It will just be us to say good-bye, as it was just us to say hello when he was first born.

I didn’t think it was possible to hurt anymore.  I didn’t think it was possible to cry anymore.  I want him back.  I want to hold his hand in mine and walk along the wall at Darcy’s school.  I want to see him in my rearview mirror while driving.  I want to hold him close and read books at night.  I want to run my fingers through his curls and kiss his hair.  I want to rough house with him and hear that laugh, see that mischievous smile.  I want him back.

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