I started the ‘Capture Your Grief’ journey after reading some fellow bloggers posts. I figured why not, the timing was right before our 1 year mark. All of the topics came from the Carly Marie Project Heal website. She put together a list of daily topics/pictures to share. Reading everyone else’s posts helped me to realize that we weren’t alone. The website is actually a really great resource for baby and child loss as well.
I feel like CYG gave me the opportunity to further define my future goals. I’ve been able to look at the help that we had following the accident and realize just how lucky we were. I’ve realized that there is truly a need in our community for parental support and it’s something that I’ve started looking into.
The journey had me writing about several topics that I have already explored and some I hadn’t even thought about yet. I hadn’t really stopped to ask myself where I was on my grief journey. I knew how many months it had been since Bennett died, but I hadn’t really stopped to look at where we were relative to a month, 2 months, 6 months ago. It honestly put a very positive spin on my life going into the 1 year anniversary. All of a sudden I was able to take a step back and really notice that we were doing ok, we were surviving.
Darcy has come full circle in her grief and has become so open to talking about her brother and her feelings. That’s not to say that she still doesn’t have her challenges, but she’s just in a much better place than last February. I couldn’t imagine my life without Parker by my side. He’s my rock and I truly need him in my life. Somehow taking a step back and being able to compare ‘today’s me’ to ‘6 months ago me’ was very empowering. I was able to see how much we have done as a family to try and heal.
This is not to say that we don’t miss Benny, everyday. It still hurts, a lot. I still have pain from the accident, which is a constant physical reminder of what happened. There are good days and bad days. CYG just gave me the opportunity to recognize that the good ones were actually happening.