A Fletcher is one that makes arrows. We named our Fletcher after my maiden name and Benny’s middle name, but I hadn’t given too much thought about the signifigance of the arrow until now.
It’s the new direction that our lives are taking. I’ve forgotten how much love and joy my babies brought to my life over the last 19 months as I suffered with losing Benny. We are truly blessed to have this new little man and I’m so in love. He was born on June 23rd and came into this world screaming. He kept screaming for the first hour of his life, inconsolable until dad started talking to him in the warmer. He instantly recognized dads voice and calmed down.
With love comes grief as I look at this little guy who seems so familiar to me. It’s hard because we keep calling him Benny out of habit, like any parent does with multiple children. His personality is different in so many ways, yet so similar.
Of my 3, he is definitely the most needy, which is fine as I am needy for him too. If I could hold him all day I would. I’d forgotten about that bond, that deep mom/baby connection that happens. It makes me miss Benny something so fierce while at the same time love this guy so much. It’s a contradiction of emotions.
My arms may be full again, but there will always be a piece of my heart missing.