Ok. I may sound crazy, but maybe not to those of you that have lost children. Do any of you see your children? And by see I mean do you stop breathing for an instant when you see a child/adult that looks like them? Is it just me?
Benny had blond curls and blue eyes. And dimples. He was the most beautiful boy that existed. He had long dark lashes that were wasted on a little boy (says his mom with the stubby, blond lashes).
Every once in awhile I see a child that looks just like him. Him as toddler, him as a baby, or him as I see him had he grown up. And my heart stops. Because for an instant, it’s like he’s here. And maybe his death was a mistake. For a moment I get to pretend that everything is ok. And then it’s gone. But it’s all worth it for that brief moment.
Sunshine, Angels and Rainbows 
I can’t imagine how painful (and at the same time how joyful) it must be to have those experiences. I remember when my eldest left for college, I cried every time I saw a boy who looked like him wearing a baseball cap. It’s amazing how so many feelings can be wrapped up in a single experience. Thanks so much for sharing yours! I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you the biggest hug! Soon!!!
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You’re 100% right that it’s crazy how many emotions can exist in a single moment. Grief is definitely a dichotomy of sorts. It’s learning to live with the sorrow and the joy simultaneously. Looking forward to the Spring when we can hopefully get out for a few shows/cruises and get back to some semblance of normalcy, whatever that looks like now. Sending you a great big hug❤️
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