Part of being a grieving parent is holding onto the old memories, while making new ones. Which is really hard when your child is gone.
Honoring and remembering our babies becomes the mission of the bereaved. We become the reminders of what is appropriate in grief and that there is no right or wrong way to walk along this path.
We remember Bennett on his birthday. We celebrate and sing to him every year. He was here and it’s important to us to celebrate his life.
We remember Bennett during the holidays. His memory is intertwined with ours and we make sure to hang his stocking and decorate his tree (thanks to an awesome suggestion by another bereaved mama). We do a 5K in his memory around the holidays every year.
We remember Benny on the day he died. We visit with him and take a moment to reflect on all that has happened.
We remember Benny by lighting candles on days of rememberance. We remember him in the day to day conversations and pictures spread around my house.
I never planned it this way, but we created new Benny memories without even knowing it. I know that he’s not here to be a part of it and that sucks. But he lived, and that life is so intertweaved with ours that his presence is felt daily.